“Socialisation”, and those questions we know all too well from concerned friends, family members, and everyone else as well, “surely your children need the social element of a school”, “how will they ever learn to work independently of you – cut the apron strings mommy”!

The list is endless, but I’m not here to criticise them because everyone has their own angle, their own view of the world and their personal circumstances have dictated that, so let them be and shrug it off, everybody carries their own cross.

However, there is a flip side to this coin – for fear of stating the obvious – each of us do need to be quite intentional about ensuring that our children have sufficient opportunity to “socialise”. Future adults (it’s imperative to remember that we’re supporting our children’s development into a healthy adulthood) need to be given the opportunity to create bonds of friendship – not just greeting other kids at extra mural activities, but to potentially get hurt and to learn to stand their ground in an assertive manner without lowering their own standards. We need to ensure they are able to respect other “authorities” (this could be as simple as taking instructions from other adults) and know the limits of this respect. For all that we hope their heroes are within the confines of our family, it is also vital to allow them to spend time with others to look up to, and to have friends with different views to allow them a diverse perspective on our world.

And here comes the hardest part (for some of us) – we also need them to observe us interacting with our own friends occasionally. As we have learnt with home-schooling – ‘monkey see, monkey do’, they will mimic our relationships initially until they find themselves, however if you would like them to learn what you consider a healthy way to socialise, then you need to do some of it yourself. As many homeschoolers are natural introverts, this isn’t the most straightforward task, however if you apply yourself, it becomes more natural over time. There are thousands of parents just like you out there, with similar fears, frustrations, dreams and hopes – please make the effort to connect with fellow homeschoolers on a genuine level.

Homeschool communities are popping up all over, you just need to look, but many children are not seeing friends for weeks on end, only playing at home with family etc and my heart goes out to them. It needn’t be an elaborate outing, simply inviting a fellow homeschool parent and their kids over for a coffee date or meeting at a park will suffice – our children need free, unstructured play and parents need time to connect and have adult discussions. It could be with any friends that you have, I only suggest fellow homeschoolers because they’re usually more available in the week and they can empathise with you easier than others can.

If you’re a natural socialite, then keep on going, but if not, consider reaching out to others and showing your children that it’s healthy to have bonds of friendship and others to lean on for emotional support. Who knows, you may find you enjoy it – I know I did, and I’ve met some of the most amazing people and found some of my best friends through home-schooling communities!